


harder to hide than i thought

by psidn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 11:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5414858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psidn/pseuds/psidn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>>> the internet says to jerk off</p>
            </blockquote>





	harder to hide than i thought

**Author's Note:**

> we wouldn't be here looking at this story if it weren't for [sk](http://stoppit-keepout.tumblr.com)/[toomanyhometowns](http://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanyhometowns/)! THANKS SO MUCH SK, for all the help and the problem solving and the encouragement and EVERYTHING ///o///
> 
> title from arctic monkeys' [I Wanna Be Yours](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4NGoS330HE)

Tendou notices that Semi’s quicker to work up than usual today. It only took two rounds of humming to make him snap out a vicious ‘shut up,’ and he’s been glaring at Shirabu more than he had since he’d first lost his starter position. Tendou had just grinned and squeezed his eyes half-shut and crowded Semi against the wall for a rousing third round of his nursery rhyme before laughing himself away, but Shirabu had stayed quiet all through practice. There’s no doubt he’s noticed though; that’s his job, as a setter, to always know these things. But if he knows, and isn’t acknowledging it, then that’s a different matter altogether.

So when Tendou sees Semi taking a long time packing up in the clubroom after practice, he loiters.

\--

“Eita-kun,” Tendou whispers once everyone else is gone, stepping out from where he’d been lounging by the lockers. He stifles a giggle.

Semi yelps and twists around. “Tendou? What are-- Shit.” He looks down at his hands which had been holding a sports drink. Now they’re holding a cracked empty bottle, and the sports drink, freed.

“Oh, trying a new diet?” Tendou asks, and ducks away before Semi can smear his wet hands over Tendou’s shirt. “Hey now, watch it! Those are important electrolytes you’re wasting!”

Semi sighs. He heads off to throw out the empty bottle and wash his hands. Tendou follows him, all the way to peering over his shoulder as Semi scrubs his fingers. When Tendou looks up he can see his face in the mirror above the sink. He can also see the crown of Semi’s bowed head, and the angle and light do something interesting to his eyelashes.

“So,” Tendou says, and grins when Semi startles again. Semi scowls at their reflection and rolls his shoulder back to push Tendou away. “So, Semi, what’s got you down?”

“Nothing,” Semi says shortly. He goes back to the bench where he’d left his bag and picks everything up. 

“That’s a lie!” Tendou crows.

“So what if it is?” Semi asks. “Are you coming with me or not? I’m not waiting for you to pack up.”

“I’m ready, I’m ready,” Tendou says, swinging by where he’d been nesting before to pick up his bag. He falls into step by Semi. “So, something _is_ wrong, huh.”

It's dusk outside, lending everything a muted purple film, and the weather’s on the cool side of mild. Semi has his hands tucked into his pockets. The expression on his face has moved on from angry to morose, the corners of his mouth less tight but still angling downwards.

Tendou looks down at their feet, which step forward in synch.

“Just had a bad day,” Semi finally says, voice soft. He lets out a gust of breath. “Did you hang around just to bother me about it? You weirdo.”

Tendou angles his head to the side and thinks. Yeah, he is kind of weird. “You're still tense,” he says, jerking his chin up in the vague direction of Semi’s shoulders. “If you don’t learn to relax, you’re not gonna be able to make it back to starter.”

That gets Semi looking angry again, but he deflates quickly. He scuffs his feet, ruining their rhythm. “Learn to relax? What am I supposed to do?”

Tendou shrugs. “Look stuff up online, Eita-kun. I don't have all the answers.”

\--

Later that evening, while Tendou’s lying on his bed reading a back issue of Weekly Shounen Jump and avoiding homework, he gets a text from Semi.

>> the internet says to jerk off

Tendou laughs and drops his phone on his face. Once he’s rubbed his nose, he taps out a reply.

>> ok… you had to look that up???

He goes back to his comic. A good ten minutes pass before Semi sends another text; usually he’s much quicker.

>> were you telling me to jerk off?

Tendou doesn’t laugh this time. Instead he wonders, _was_ that what he was saying? He doesn’t think so. But it’s good advice.

>> you said it not me eita-kun!!!

Tendou doesn’t get another reply.

\--

“Do you believe everything you read on the internet?” Tendou asks during their lunch break the next day.

Semi splutters, “Ex-excuse me!” His eyes are wide and he doesn’t look as relaxed as he should, if he had done what he was told to do by the _internet_. 

Oohira gives Semi and Tendou a curious look, while Ushijima keeps chewing with the single-mindedness of a person who doesn’t consider conversations to be a form of amusement.

Tendou blinks at Oohira. “Eita-kun sent me an interesting link last night about… fan theories for… our favourite comic.”

If possible, Semi looks more pained.

“Oh, I didn’t know you read Shounen Jump too,” Oohira says politely. “I guess Tendou has someone to talk to about it, now.”

“Yes, I suppose,” Semi says. “I do so love to spend time with my good buddy Tendou-kun. And now we have a hobby, that we can share. How great is that.”

Tendou flutters his eyelashes. “So. _Do_ you believe it?”

Semi looks down and sniffs. “Most things deserve consideration,” he tells the table.

Later, when they’re heading back to class, Semi pulls Tendou aside.

“I can’t believe you asked me if I’d jerked off last night, in front of our teammates. Our friends. Our _teammates_.”

“I was just concerned,” Tendou says. He smirks. “I am so very concerned about how tense you are.”

“Fuck you,” Semi says. “I’ll see you at practice,” he adds as he walks away.

“Is that a threat?” Tendou calls out.

“No, it’s just a fact!” Semi shouts back, flipping the bird and then hastily hiding it when he notices how crowded the hallway is. 

\--

Another day, barely two weeks later, finds Semi brooding again. He’s quieter about it this time, spending more time looking at his own hands than at other people, but Tendou notices. Semi notices that Tendou notices. It’s not that hard when, from across the court, Tendou shakes his water bottle in front of his crotch in a very meaningful way. Semi replies by drawing a finger across his throat.

Once everyone else has cleared out of the locker room, Semi turns on Tendou and grinds his knuckles on Tendou’s head.

“What were you thinking?” he shouts. “Doing-- that!-- in front of everyone? What will they think?”

Tendou laughs into his fist, as Semi keeps chastising him and jerking him around by the shirt. “Wow, you’re more wound up than I thought!”

Semi finally stops his physical attack which, when Tendou thinks about it, had a bit more of an edge than their usual roughhousing. He grins at that thought, and at the way Semi’s still holding onto the collar of his shirt.

He also finds it interesting, how breathless Semi is.

“Why don’t you jerk off in the bathroom stall,” Tendou says, smiling wider when Semi’s fist clenches tighter.

“Why don’t you make me,” Semi spits out.

They both stare at each other. Semi blinks first.

“Okay,” Tendou says.

\--

It’s a tight squeeze for two athletic high school boys in one bathroom stall. The lights here are harsh; they make the teal paint of the stalls garish, and jump off the floor tiles with enthusiasm. Semi’s hair looks like it’s glowing.

Everything feels hot to Tendou, and it feels like all that heat is coming from Semi. Semi doesn’t really blush much, which makes his flush now all the more striking; it looks like a slap on each cheek, mottled and angry. His eyes are half-closed, his eyelashes fluttering and throwing shadows across his cheekbones. Tendou’s having a difficult time grasping that this is really happening, that he’s really seeing this.

When Semi opens his eyes, his pupils are blown wide enough that they look like bottomless pits. Tendou can’t look away, but is spared the embarrassment of that by how dazed Semi looks. Finally Semi drops his head and lets out a shudder of a breath.

Semi looks back up and makes to reach for Tendou’s pants.

“Ah,” Tendou says, backing up until his back is against the stall wall. He knows he’s hard, but suddenly everything seems strange and different. He’s not sure. “Next time,” he blurts out, looking at a point above Semi’s shoulder.

Semi freezes. “Oh,” he whispers. “Next time?”

Tendou realizes the meaning of his words. His gaze snaps back to Semi’s face. Semi’s blinking a lot.

“Yeah,” Tendou says, taking the risk. He swallows.

“Okay,” Semi says. “Okay! Next time.” He’s nodding to himself, and Tendou’s sure he guessed right.

\--

Tendou jerks off at home, easy, and then draws his curtains open and crawls into bed. By the time he’d gotten home it was already dark out, and now he can see the moon through his window. It hangs heavy and ponderous in the sky, looks close enough to reach and yellow enough to be unreal.

Tendou wonders if that ‘next time’ was a promise or a proposition. He wonders if next time he’ll only want to do and not be done, like this time, or if he’ll want both, or if he’ll want neither.

\--

Next time comes within a few days, and Tendou finds he’s in much the same predicament as before. He shakes his head and Semi drops it, slumping against Tendou instead and staying there until his breathing evens out. Tendou stares at his hands on Semi’s back and feels lucky.

And just like that, it becomes a habit, maybe once or twice a week. It’s weirdly easy to get used to it, and Tendou likes it a lot, fastidiously jerking Semi off in a bathroom stall once everyone’s gone.

\--

Semi looks like he’s going to blow a fuse. He and Shirabu are talking about some setter technique, and Tendou can tell from the doorway of the clubroom that Shirabu’s giving lip service. Oohira’s watching them warily, looking ready to calm things down at any moment, and Goshiki’s watching with fascination and, hilariously, some smugness. 

Tendou sprints the rest of the way into the clubroom. “Shooting star!” he yells, and tackles Semi into the wall. Shirabu jerks back in surprise, while Oohira takes half a step forward and then decides better of interfering. Goshiki continues to watch in fascination.

“What the--! Tendou!” Semi’s managed to roll over once they hit the floor, and now he’s got Tendou’s arms in a lock behind Tendou’s back. Tendou struggles for two seconds before relaxing. “What were you thinking?” Semi shouts at the clubroom at large.

There’s none of the tension left from earlier. Tendou laughs. “I was so happy to see you, you know, I had to pull my new move.”

“I’ll show you, ‘new move’,” Semi mutters, and through some tricky maneuver manages to sit on Tendou’s legs.

Tendou can’t let that slide.

“Should they be…” Goshiki starts to say.

“Hey now,” Oohira says very unconvincingly. “Stop roughhousing.”

“No,” Semi manages to gasp out. “I have to teach him a lesson.”

“Fair,” Oohira says, and then turns to Goshiki. “There’s nothing we can do, then. I’m going to get ready for practice.”

“Reon! I can’t believe you’d betray me like this,” Tendou tries to shout while his face gets well acquainted with the floor.

The door to the clubhouse opens, and Semi freezes from where he was pulling Tendou’s ear. It’s Ushijima standing in the doorway, the sunlight streaming from behind him like he’s some long awaited hero.

“Wakatoshiiiiii,” Tendou wails. “How are you?” He squirms under Semi’s loosened grip. “Good, I hope.”

Ushijima stares at them with concern. “Are you… having fun?” he asks.

Semi leans over so that Tendou can see his lopsided grin. Tendou smiles back. They both get up and run at Ushijima. 

\--

“I can’t believe Ushijima-senpai got scolded, too,” Goshiki says, throwing a volleyball into the air and catching it in his outstretched hands. 

“Everyone needs to experience youth at least once,” Tendou says philosophically. He finishes the first set of his punishment push-ups. “And that was Wakatoshi’s chance.”

“How rude,” Semi says, but he laughs, which means he agrees. “Ah, don’t make me laugh,” he scolds. “I can’t keep track of my push-ups.”

Tendou makes a face, which makes Semi laugh again. Tendou feels nice. Then he remembers Goshiki hovering over them. 

“What I don’t get is why Wakatoshi’s punishment was a run,” Tendou says. “He runs enough to punish himself every day. Isn’t that right, Tsutomu?”

Goshiki nods. He throws the volleyball into the air.

“Hey, don’t you want to be ace? To show your senpai what’s what?”

Goshiki fumbles the volleyball as it falls. “That! That makes it sound bad!” he says. “I want to be ace! I respect Ushijima-senpai!”

“Ha ha,” Tendou says, and regrets it. It’s hard to even fake a laugh while doing these drills. “Maybe you should join Wakatoshi on those runs? Get that training you need.”

“Tendou-senpai, that’s such a good idea! I’m going now!” Goshiki says and goes to pick up the volleyball he’d dropped before rushing out to hound Ushijima. He nearly knocks Kawanishi over in his excitement.

“You sneaky fucker,” Semi says. He’s doing a plank now, and smiling at the floor. “You interrupt my very important conversation with Shirabu, and now you chase Goshiki away with just a question.”

“Was it that important of a conversation?” Tendou asks. “It didn’t seem like it was making any kind of impact. Except on your blood pressure.”

“Ha!” Semi says, and lets himself collapse to the floor. “I give up, I’m going to become one with this hardwood.”

“That’s the spirit,” Tendou says mildly. “Polymerization.” He lowers himself to the floor as well, spreads his arms and legs out like a starfish. 

Semi rolls over until he’s lying on top of Tendou. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about sometimes,” he admits. The weight of him is comforting.

“Not where the children can see, Eita-kun,” Tendou mumbles into the floor. He can feel it through his body when Semi laughs. He smiles.

\--

Tendou has been looking forward to practice all day, more so than usual. He's got a new move to try, even better than shooting star, and he knows it's going to be a hit. 

Coach Washijou doesn't think so.

“Tendou!” Coach snaps. “If you can't focus, then I'm sending you to Team B for the rest of practice. They could do with learning to handle the eccentric type.”

Tendou doesn't mind at all. As long as he's on one side of the net and there are people to crush on the other side, then he's having fun. 

Semi clicks his tongue. “Did you get in trouble with Coach again?”

“No,” Tendou lies. “He’s doing this for your own good. Didn't you hear?”

“I heard something alright,” Semi says. “What was it? Oh right, the ball hitting the floor cause your new move sucks.”

Tendou ignores him. Genius just isn't understood in its early stages.

Team B splits into two for a short practice match. Tendou and Semi are on the same half, and most of the other half is a mix of first years and second years who haven't made starter. Easy pickings for a guess monster and Shiratorizawa’s best setter. 

From his spot on the court, Tendou can see Team A’s practice. During some down time, Tendou watches Shirabu set and Ushijima spike. As usual, Ushijima is breathtaking. It’s one thing to see his power on the court, and another from far away; both are experiences.

“What beautiful form,” Tendou says.

“Yeah,” Semi agrees. Tendou hadn’t noticed he was watching too, but when he turns to look, he sees Semi’s focused on Team A’s court. He’s got a strange, wistful look on his face.

Semi shakes his head and turns to Tendou, laughing. “We’re not doing so badly over here though, huh?”

“Not at all,” Tendou says. 

Semi gives him a smile at that, all soft and very trusting. It hits Tendou hard, in a way he wasn’t expecting. He looks at the floor and blinks.

“Okay, back to it!” Semi says to the rest of the team, clapping his hands. 

Tendou takes a breath and settles. He watches the players, the setter. He makes his guess, and gets it right. Then he gets it right again. And again.

And when the kid on the other side looks up at him from the floor, through the net, looks up at him like he’s a monster, a scumbag-- there’s no better feeling than that.

\--

Tendou is monstrous, true, but his guessing is still just guessing. He's good at picking up hints, and making assumptions, and understanding personalities. He does these things with such second nature that they've been honed into intuition, which informs his guesses, which makes him a guess monster of some kind.

But if he were a true guess monster, he'd be doing much better at this game.

“Next card!” Goshiki calls, waving the remains of the pack in his hand. Cards litter the area around where they’re sitting cross-legged across from each other.

“Thirteen of clubs,” Tendou mumbles. Where’s the rest of the team? Who allows Goshiki to still get a bowl cut? Where’s Ushijima? Where’s Semi?

Goshiki turns the card around and clucks at it. “Tendou-senpai, you know there's no thirteens in a deck of playing cards.” 

“Do I?” Tendou asks. “Ace of hearts,” he says when Goshiki starts waving the pack again.

The door to the clubroom opens. Semi walks in, followed by Oohira. They both stop to eye the mess.

“What are you two even doing?” Semi asks, as Goshiki cheers and fist-pumps, lifting the ace of hearts to the ceiling. Tendou looks up at Semi and gives a thoughtful look.

“Getting my ass kicked by a pack of cards,” Tendou says. “But I persevered, and showed it in the end.”

Oohira smiles patiently and walks past them, but Semi lingers. Then he puts his hand in Tendou’s hair and tugs.

“When are you going to cut this monster hair, guess monster?” Semi says as he lets go.

It doesn’t hurt much.

\--

It hurts more, but in a satisfying way, when Semi pulls on his hair after practice. 

“Ah, sorry,” Semi says, and he lets go, lets his hands drift to Tendou’s shoulders. 

“I didn’t mind,” Tendou mutters. He looks up at the ceiling.

Once Semi’s done, he gives Tendou’s crotch a look. “Do you,” he starts. Tendou shakes his head. “No, no,” Semi says. “I didn’t mean-- I was wondering, do you, you know, take care of it at home?”

“Uh,” Tendou says. “Sometimes.”

Semi blinks a few times and then smiles wide. “Fuck,” he says, staring at Tendou’s face too earnestly. “That’s hot.”

“Um,” Tendou says. 

“ _Um_ ,” Semi repeats back at him, with a laugh. “You’re so loud on the court but then you’re all quiet in the bedroom.”

Tendou gives Semi an incredulous look. Then he glances at the toilet that has been witness to their activities for the past few weeks. “Do you have something to tell me about your bedroom, Eita-kun,” he says with feigned politeness.

“Asshole,” Semi says, but the fondness is so obvious in his voice that Tendou needs to look away again. “I take back what I said, you’re always noisy in the worst way.”

“Thank you,” Tendou replies.

“Speaking of which,” Semi says. “Bedrooms, that is. Speaking of bedrooms. Um, we don’t have to keep doing it here. My parents come home late anyway, so we can just…”

“Yeah,” Tendou says. “Sounds good, yeah.”

“And then we can do some studying!” Semi adds, which Tendou thinks ruins the moment quite a bit.

\--

Tendou had almost forgotten they'd decided to change locale until Semi taps him on the arm after practice and asks, casually, unaffected, if Tendou wants to come over. Semi’s hand rests warm on Tendou’s forearm while Tendou nods. The smile he gets in return makes Tendou feel like he missed a step walking down some stairs.

Semi’s room has white walls and no posters, so when he sits on his bed and leans against the wall, there’s nothing else to look at. Just Semi, still in his school uniform, the only thing of interest in a large swathe of blandness. 

Ever since Tendou had let it slip that he thought Semi didn’t look cool in his school uniform, Semi has been meticulous about keeping it neat and pretending he isn’t doing it because of Tendou. He keeps adjusting his cuffs and tightening his collar, picking the lint off his sleeves and pulling up his socks. It’s cute, how fussy he’s gotten, but Tendou thinks it’s still true that he doesn’t look cool.

Now though, he’s loosening his collar with his finger and letting his shirt get all rumpled, and Tendou’s split between wanting to watch his fill and looking away until it’s all over.

Semi grins. “What are you doing?” he asks. “Get over here.”

Tendou crawls onto the bed and sits next to him. Semi laughs. 

“What is this, a business meeting? Relax.” He looks up through his eyelashes, and Tendou can’t tell anymore what’s being done on purpose and what’s not. “Maybe we should lie down,” Semi says.

Tendou waits until Semi’s lain down first before settling next to him. His own uniform is still following school regulation. He twists to his side and watches as Semi leans forward and… oh. Semi’s kissing him.

Tendou still has his eyes open, but doesn’t much like how he can’t focus on anything so he closes them. So far kissing feels more intimate than jerking a teammate off, which doesn’t make sense. But maybe it’s because of how slow it is, and how it’s happening to him instead of something he’s doing. Maybe it’s because Semi’s face is so close to his own. Maybe it’s because they’re on a bed.

Tendou breathes through his nose, lets his mouth open a bit to kiss back. Semi seems to like that, which Tendou likes. What Tendou likes even more is that Semi’s slipped his hands into Tendou’s hair again, is playing with it and pulling at it.

When Tendou moves back, he can see how red Semi’s mouth has gotten. It’s interesting to think his own mouth is probably just as bright now. “Do you want me to,” Tendou says, bringing his hand down, in between them. He speaks in a whisper.

Semi just nods before going back to kissing Tendou, this time on his jaw, his neck, by his ears, his hands still in Tendou’s hair. Tendou jerks Semi off and thinks, _this is much better_.

There’s a tissue box on the side table, so Tendou wipes his hand off with a tissue. Then he lies back and watches Semi as his everything calms down. When he looks at Tendou, he looks lazy and smug. He bites his lip.

“Can I?” he asks, hand reaching out like that first time in the bathroom stall.

“Uh,” Tendou says. Again, he’s half-hard. Again, he’s not sure. It’s easy to ignore the hardness, it’s not so easy to ignore his confusion at his own lack of interest. “Maybe not.”

Semi looks at him, frowning. “I thought… Hm. I thought you didn’t want to because, because, it was at school, or something like that.”

Tendou looks back at him curiously. The thought had never occurred to him, to be embarrassed about location; after all, he was the one who had suggested it. Then again, his actual reason is nonexistent. There is no reason. How does one explain something they don’t really understand themselves?

Didn’t Semi understand? Hadn’t Semi known they didn’t need to talk about it, that it didn’t really matter?

“I don't know,” Tendou says, shrugging.

“How can you not know?” Semi asks, pulling back so he can frown critically at all of Tendou at once.

“I just don't,” Tendou says, more bite to his words. “Why does it matter to you so much? It's not like we're together.”

Semi stares at Tendou for a long time. “I suppose not,” he says, very slowly.

A sense of dread overcomes Tendou. But why should it? There's nothing being said here that's wrong. 

Still, Tendou wants out of this room. “I left some of the books I need at home,” he says, sitting up and running his hands through his hair. “There's no point in me coming back, so I'll just go, huh?”

“Oh,” Semi says, sitting up and lowering his legs to the floor. He’s frowning at his knees. “Sure. See you at school.”

Semi sees him to the door, watches quietly as Tendou puts his shoes on and shoulders his backpack. Then he says goodbye and closes the door.

Tendou walks to the train station alone and thinks about the last time he’d been at Semi’s, with the other third years from the team. They’d been over to actually study, and had done so in the main room; afterwards, Semi had walked them all back to the train station and had smiled and given Tendou a squeeze on the shoulder as he said goodbye. Just now, Semi wouldn’t even look him in the face.

And now the walk is lonely and quiet. It’s not that cold out, but Tendou wishes he had a hoodie or a jacket so that he could hide in it.

“Crickety-crack,” he murmurs, and he ignores the group of children giving him a wide berth on the street.

\--

The next few days don’t feel real. Tendou hasn't had a single conversation with Semi that has gone past a brief greeting; even with the others at lunch, Semi has been quieter, and Tendou’s been diverting himself by trying to make conversation with Ushijima. 

Ushijima’s straightforward replies are somewhat trying. They are not very good distractions. Instead, Tendou keeps looking at Semi out of the corner of his eye.

And when Semi steps in to pinch serve during a practice match against a university team, he doesn't even high-five Tendou. He gives a small awkward nod instead, as if the two were somehow equivalent, and Tendou figures he won't get his hair ruffled either once the game’s over.

It all fucking sucks.

\--

Because of an unforeseen disaster in his last class of the day, Tendou ends up staying later than usual to do classroom clean-up, which makes him late to practice. That explains why, as he arrives, Shirabu’s leaving the clubroom for the gym already dressed for practice, but does not explain why he’s muttering, “What a dumbass,” to himself.

In the clubroom, Goshiki seems to be the centre of attention. Tendou knows who Shirabu was talking about, now.

“Let her down gently,” Semi is saying. “Don’t leave her hanging like that, if you’re not sure! You’re busy with practice anyway, and schoolwork.” He squints at Goshiki. “Have you asked Shirabu to tutor you yet?”

Kawanishi cackles as he leaves the clubroom, bypassing Tendou. Goshiki looks very put upon.

“Semi-senpai, don’t change the topic,” he says, a mulish set to his mouth. 

“Well, that’s my advice,” Semi says. “It’s what I’ve done.”

“Ah,” Tendou says, “Tsutomu, did you get a confession?”

Both Semi and Goshiki turn to face him. Goshiki lights up; Semi does not. He lifts his hand as if to wave, and then gives up, leaning down to tie his shoelaces instead.

“Yes, I got my first confession today!” Goshiki says, blushing but also looking proud and confused. “Tendou-senpai, I need your advice,” Goshiki says.

“Why? Semi-kun said some pretty reasonable things,” Tendou says. “Do you need to hear more reason?”

He walks further into the clubroom and sets his bag down, starts to get ready. Goshiki hovers by his elbow.

“Is that what you do when you get confessions?” Goshiki asks.

“Uh,” Tendou says. He rubs the back of his neck and laughs. “I don’t really get any, Tsutomu, but it’s nice you believe in your upperclassmen so much, huh?”

“What,” Goshiki breathes out, in shock. “But you’re so cool!”

Tendou doesn’t often feel awkward, but this feeling is getting pretty close. Semi’s watching, which makes it worse. There’s a small frown on his face, and he’s still holding his shoelaces, like somehow they’ll tie themselves if he doesn’t move.

Tendou realizes he’s staring back at Semi. He turns away, looks into his bag instead. “Guess I’m too creepy,” he says. 

“ _What_ ,” Semi says. 

Tendou freezes. Goshiki hovers.

“Who said that?” Semi says. “Was it-- was it Ushijima?”

Tendou’s mouth drops open. Of all the… He looks back at Semi, who’s still clutching his shoelaces. Semi looks just as shocked as Tendou feels.

“Sorry, that was, that’s not possible,” Semi says. “Ushijima would never… My bad. But still, who said that? They don’t know anything! I’ll… I’ll…” he breaks off. He looks down and finally ties his shoelaces.

“See?” Goshiki says. “Semi-senpai believes in you, too.”

“Alright, Goshiki,” Semi says to the floor. “That’s… um, enough. Go see Shirabu about that tutoring.”

Goshiki scoffs, but heads out anyway, after offering Tendou a high-five. Tendou doesn’t know why they’re high-fiving, but it’s a good distraction from the fact that he’s going to be alone in the clubroom with Semi.

The door closing after Goshiki sounds too loud.

“Is it true you’ve never been confessed to?” Semi asks.

It’s not really what Tendou was expecting, but now that he thinks about it, ever since that first time in the bathroom stall, everything has felt like uncharted territory. He doesn’t know what to expect with anything concerning Semi anymore.

“Yeah,” he finally answers.

“Does it… does it bother you?” Semi asks. He’s standing up again, and has crossed the few metres between them to hover just as uselessly as Goshiki had.

“Huh?” Tendou says. “No? I don’t really think about it.”

Semi starts picking at the hem of his shorts. “But you like, I mean, you do _like_ people, right? Like, that actress in The Ring, you said you watched it cause she was cute, and, you know, there’s also…” He doesn’t finish his thought.

“Yes, I like people,” Tendou says, trying not to outright laugh. He can’t believe this. “But I’m not hung up on things like ‘when will I get my confession,’ or whatever. It’s not like I’ve ever given one either, so why I should expect to receive any?”

Semi stares at Tendou with more focus than should be warranted. “Good,” he says firmly. “I mean. Don’t be hung up on it.”

“Uh,” Tendou says, amazed at this strange conversation. “I… won’t be. Sure thing. Yeah.”

“I need to go talk to Ushijima,” Semi says. He finally steps away from Tendou, turns his intense gaze on the door. Tendou pities and envies the door. 

“Okay,” Tendou says. “Have a good time.”

When Semi leaves, Tendou realizes this was the longest conversation they’ve had in days. 

\--

Should Tendou have expected this after yesterday’s conversation? He doesn’t know. He stares at the note he just found in his bag again.

Tendou,  
I’m sorry.  
And I guess this is your first confession  
-Eita

He crumples it in his fist and stuffs it into his bag, staring around the clubroom. It’s before morning practice, and he’s trying to figure out when Semi could possibly have found the time to sneak the note into his bag. The clubroom’s half-full, but Semi’s not there among the scattered club members.

“Tendou-san, you look so red,” Kawanishi says. Figures it would be Kawanishi who would point it out. “Are you embarrassed about something?” he asks, looking too interested.

“Of course not!” Tendou shouts. “Shouldn’t you be heading to practice?” he asks in a quieter voice.

“Shouldn’t _you_ ,” Kawanishi shoots back, and then stops, looks at his hands. “Shouldn’t we all,” he mutters to himself.

“Wow, okay,” Tendou says. “That’s very deep, Taichi. I’ll see you there.”

Tendou zips up his bag and heads out to hide behind the clubroom. There he can look at the note in peace. When he pulls it out, he regrets having crumpled it; he tries to smooth it out against his knee and pores over the message again. Semi’s right, it is his first confession and it’s doing something funny to his insides, makes him want to sink through the ground but also scream. He thinks he could block anything on the court right now.

“Get a hold of yourself, Satori,” he says, and tries to calm down, reads the note again.

Why is Semi sorry, though? There’s nothing to be sorry about.

Tendou needs to talk to someone helpful, someone reliable. And on a volleyball team, there is no one more reliable than the ace.

He folds up the note carefully this time and tucks it into the front pocket of his bag. Then he races to the clubroom, puts his stuff away, and goes to hunt down Ushijima. 

As expected, Ushijima is in the gymnasium, warming up. He’s alone for now, so Tendou settles himself next to him and starts stretching.

“Psst,” Tendou says, reaching for his toes, “Wakatoshi, hey, I need to talk to you.”

Ushijima looks at him and blinks.

“I think someone likes me,” Tendou whispers, giddy. “But it wasn’t said to my face. And also there was an apology I don’t understand.”

“Okay,” Ushijima says.

“Wakatoshi!” Tendou says. “What am I supposed to do with this confession?”

“Aren’t you supposed to accept or reject it?” Ushijima says. “Isn’t that what usually happens?”

Tendou squirms. Finally he admits, “I’m nervous.”

“Oh,” Ushijima says. “Then just write a letter. That’s what I told Semi yesterday.”

Tendou’s mouth drops open. “Great!” he says, sitting up straight and staring at the wall in front of him. He can’t really look Ushijima in the face right now. “Great, that’s what you told Semi yesterday, awesome.” He squints. “And then he took that advice. Stellar.”

He looks back at Ushijima. Ushijima is stretching out his arms, focused and oblivious. Tendou is overcome with fondness for his ace.

“Thanks, Wakatoshi,” he says. “But I think one of us has to do this properly.”

\--

 _The sooner, the better_ , Tendou thinks, so the moment he sees Semi’s done in the clubroom after morning practice, Tendou runs after him. 

“Eita-kun!” he shouts. Semi comes to a total stop. 

Tendou slows down to a jog and then a walk, and then he stops too, leans forward to catch his breath. Semi’s still facing away from him, and Tendou looks at the line of his shoulders, the strap of his bag slung across his back.

“I got your note,” Tendou says.

Semi turns around at that. His hands are toying with the bottom edge of his uniform jacket. He takes in a breath like he’s going to start talking, but stops short. He looks tired.

“The note in my bag,” Tendou clarifies.

“I’m sorry,” Semi blurts out. “It was-- I should have told you in person instead of like that.” He lets go of his jacket and folds his hands together instead. “Do you… what do you think?” he asks.

“Why are you sorry?” Tendou asks back instead of answering. “What’s there to be sorry about?”

That jerks Semi out of his awkwardness. “What?” he says. “Because I kept. _You know_ ,” he says, angling his head and giving a sharp look out of the corner of his eyes. “And you never. I mean, I got the message, right. So I’m just clearing the air.”

Tendou takes a step forward. “What message did you get, exactly? I don’t think it was the right one.”

“That you were just helping me out,” Semi says. “That you’re not really interested in something else. I guess you didn’t hate it, but it probably wasn’t how you wanted to spend your time.”

Tendou barks out a laugh. “I’m real altruistic, aren’t I?”

“Uh,” Semi says.

“I’m accepting my first confession,” Tendou says.

“Um,” Semi says. “I’m confused.”

“Me too,” Tendou says. “I mean, I don’t really understand myself either, but I’m okay with that. So you should be too. Because I still want to… I like spending time with you.”

“Are you blushing?” Semi asks, smiling wide.

“You would ask me this too?” Tendou asks, feeling betrayed. “Yes! Fine! I am, because I’m embarrassed.”

Semi laughs and relief washes over Tendou. He can do this. 

\--

Tendou notices that Semi’s quicker to get laughing today. He’s been smiling at everything the first years say, and when Tendou tells him they need to give Ushijima their thanks, Semi laughs so hard he has to sit down.

As thanks, Tendou and Semi end up tackling Ushijima during practice while Coach isn’t watching. 

“Oof,” Ushijima breathes out, trying to stay upright under their combined weight. He fails. “Again?” he asks.

“We’re just saying thanks,” Tendou says. “For something, you don’t need to know the details.” Semi snickers.

“I think I already know,” Ushijima says. “Unfortunately.”

“When did _our_ Wakatoshi develop a sense of humour?” Tendou asks Semi.

“Must have been while we weren’t paying attention,” Semi says. “How awful!”

And after practice, when Semi says he’s heading home and Tendou asks if he can come along, Semi smiles and says, “Of course.”


End file.
